On the heels of the overwhelming box-office success of "The Passion of The Christ," Mel Gibson has announced a new biblical project: "The Plagues of The Moses."
Based on the book of Exodus, this film will depict in detail the ten plagues brought on the people of Egypt.
Notably excluded from the film is any material relating to the life of Moses, the enslavement and liberation of the Hebrew people, the ten commandments or the journey to the promised land.
"It's just the plagues," Gibson told CNN celebrity interviewbot Larry King. "If the Jews have a problem with that, let them make their own movie. They already control Hollywood anyway. But I mean that in a good way. They do a real good job controlling Hollywood."
The film, which has not yet begun production, is already drawing criticism for its violence and its depiction of Jewish characters.
"Mr. Gibson proposes to show Egyptian babies being eaten alive by locusts and pregnant women pummeled to death by baseball-sized hail while Hebrew children point and laugh," complained Rabbi Sidney Martin Sidmartinson of the watchdog group "What Is This, The Media?"
"I also understand that the Pharaoh is depicted as a kind and reasonable man who is more than willing to let the Israelites go, and that Moses decides to take it on himself to unleash the plauges anyway while he dances and eats potato pancakes. I'm sorry, but that's just not in the bible."
"Oh, yeah?" responded Mr. Gibson, producing a copy of his screenplay and jamming it into the antique Talmud Rabbi Sidmartinson was carrying under his arm. "Well, it is now, tough guy. What are you gonna do about it? You gonna cry?"
While final casting has not been determined, fellow Australian hearthrob and drunken bully Russell Crowe has been offered the coveted role of Moses.
"When he fust approached me with this offa, I read the script and ah'll be onest, ah thought the paht where Moses beats a homeless man to death with his staff was ovah the top," Crowe told a fire hydrant he mistook for Diane Sawyer. "But then Mel reminded me that killin' wasn't technically a sin yet at that toym, so I punched 'im in 'is walleroo and told 'im ah'd do it!"
One of the technical challenges of the production is Gibson's desire to have all the actors speak in authentic ancient Egyptian dialects. Unfortunately for Gibson, no oral tradition survives from that era, so no one knows for sure what ancient Egyptian sounded like.
"No wurries," Crowe muttered into a bus stop toilet. "We'll just speak pig-latin. No one will notice."
Production is set to begin this summer in Egypt. Despite the controversy, Gibson says he and his crew have received a warm welcome from Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak.
Reached for comment, Mr. Mubarak told this reporter: "Sure I'm letting Mel film here. Finally, someone has the guts to tell the truth about that whole Moses incident. And if Ariel Sharon doesn't like it, he can kiss my sandy ass."
Posted by Jason at March 9, 2004 06:36 PM