The Whiz Kids save the day again.
Okay, so read it then come back. Go ahead. I'll give you time. Ready? Good. Now, for this next bit, you have to imagine that Detective Shaw is played by Christopher Walken. "Deer Hunter" Christopher Walken. Try to do the voice in your head. Okay, if we're set, then surf's up on PREMISE BEACH.
FADE IN
DET. SHAW and ALEC sit facing each other across a school table. ALEC is HANDCUFFED to his chair and DET. SHAW is holding a REVOLVER
DET. SHAW
See, Alec, drugs kill. You and your little playmates may not know that, innocents that you are, but it's true (opens revolver, begins dumping shells) I...I...I...don't know WHY people throw their lives away on that shit. You put a needle in you ahm, may as well be pointing a gun at your head (drops one bullet, spins chamber, locks it in place and points gun at Alec's head).
Not so fun is it now, shmaht guy? What, d'joo think you and your little friends could just get HIGH and download internet porn all day? Wake up, Alec! This is the 80s. There's no porn on the internet yet (pulls trigger, *click*, Alec flinches, terrified).
You wanna play again? (winks) What'd'ya say? C'mon, let's play again (spins chamber, locks into place, points at own head).
My partner, God rest his soul....started...using smack about a year ago (leans in, menacing Alec). In less than a month he was addicted. An animal. You know what I did, Alec? (pulls trigger, *click*). I put him out of his misery (spins chamber, points gun at Alec).
He was like a brother to me. Like my own blood. And I put him down, like a dog. What makes you THINK I'd hesitate to do the same to you? (glares for several seconds, returns gun to holster, composes self and smiles a broad smile).
Now, let's see if we can't get that acoustically-coupled telephone modulator/demodulator working with your Tandy Radio Shack computer's RS-232 port!
FADE OUT
Aaaaaaand, scene.
If you really did read the Whiz Kids thing, what was up with those drug dealers? It's like fifty pounds of smack is being delivered into Capitol City by the 'Queer Eye' Fab Five. And a pearl choker with jungle fatigues? What were you thinking, "Joe", if that is your real name?
Posted by Jason at September 15, 2003 03:44 PM