Dear Future Me
(Warning, this is another Liz-emotional entry, so if you want Jason-rants or hey-check-out-this-link, move along.)
Dear
Future Me,
Did I live through this Fall? (Pun only kind of intentional.) Did everyone else? Do I have any real friends left, or only the social/party kind? Did life ever even approach normal, with exercise and sleep and books and movies and only
some work? Or did I stay as stupid and fucked-up as I feel now? I know what the odds were, thank you, but part of my particular stupidity is that hope thing.
Other stuff that's happening... Eddie Izzard was indeed perfect. Saw
Down with Love. Got
Team Boo and love it. Hair is still blue. Minmai is coming over this week to help even out the ends and put some stripey bits in so it looks less like I tried to cover a bad blonding job (the real story) and more like I planned it.
People showed up for drinks on my birthday Wednesday, although without RSVP-ing (even Jason was supposed to be in Spanish class) so there were elements of gratitude, relief, and Rob-torture involved. (Rob came out to be a good friend, after I expressed fear of sitting by myself all alone at a bar on my bday, but I think he actually wanted to be several light-years away from anything social. Rob gets the biggest slice of the gratitude pie for that night, and it's a pretty big pie.)
So. Birthday. With Presents!! A new iPod that is already 13 GB full, and a Chianna doll to confirm that I indeed AM a big giant geek in every way and I don't even care, and nail polish that changes color. And pens and stickers and toys because I am also eight years old.
And through everything there's the continuing of the folding-of-the-company (well,
I'm folding anyhow) which means continuing to do things hour-by-hour that I do not want to do
now, because I want to be happy with how I dealt with everything
later. "Later" is a big big theme right now, in case that is not anvil-obvious. Not sleeping enough. Made it to the gym two out of three times this week and took disproportionate joy in that. Forward. I go forward now.
The Best Therapist in San Francisco™ will be back in town again soon. I should go.
You are now invited to return to the Jason entries.
Love,
Liz
Posted by Liz at September 13, 2003 05:26 PM