Cast your mind back to 1997. William Jefferson Clinton was of to a great start on the second of what looked to be two stunningly successful and completely, uh, stain-free terms as President. A little thing called "the Internet" was just about to make us all richer than a bowl of Cream of Crisco soup and two upstart young screenwriters, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, stunned audiences and industry insiders alike by writing (as their first movie mind you) a film that even the combined powers Gus Van Sant and Robin Williams couldn't fuck up, a few hundred thousand feet of celloid by the name of Good Will Hunting.
We couldn't get enough of Matt and Ben. Why, they were the new Julius and Philip Epstein.
What great works could we expect from these two wunderkind? Could they single (or quadruple, I guess) handedly revive America's floundering independent film scene?
No, my friends, for the fickle fingers of fate turn like the great wheel of a badly mixed metaphor and bring low those who were once so very, very high, and probably still are.
At this point you may well be asking yourself: What the hell is he talking about and why am I still reading? As for the latter, my friends, I do not know. But for the former BEHOLD! In this great year of 2003 we have managed to produce not one but two, count 'em, two movies of lower entertainment value than what was previously considered the minimal producable film.
Thank you, Ben, for making this possible. I'm so sick of hearing how all the cool stuff happened in the 60's.
Next up: chilling a gas to -1 Kelvin.
Posted by Jason at August 11, 2003 03:41 PM