Woke Up This Morning
So, there's going to be a
sixth season of The Sopranos. Let the musing begin...
DC: Hello Tony. I am the Architect. I designed The Sopranos. You have many questions yet remain irrevocably human. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, it is also the most irrelevant.
TS: What the fuck?
DC: You are the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to television programming.
TS: Gimme a fuckin' break.
DC: Quite right. Interesting, that was quicker than the others.
TS: What the fuck are you talking about?
(scenes from "I'll Fly Away", "Northern Exposure", "The Rockford Files" and "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" appear on the screens)
DC: The first programs I developed were quite naturally perfect, a triumph equaled only by their monumental failure.
TS: It's fuckin' profanity. That's the fuckin' problem, isn't it you fuck?
DC: Precisely. The answer eluded me for some time until it was stumbled upon by another.
TS: Steven fuckin' Bochco?
DC: Please. As I was saying, he stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of the viewing audience would accept that they were hearing profanity when in fact they were not. While this answer functioned, it was fundamentally flawed thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anamoly.
TS: This is about fuckin' HBO.
DC: You are here because HBO is about to be purchased by Disney.
TS: You won't fucking let that fucking happen. You need fucking adult-oriented programming to fucking survive.
DC: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept.
TS: You better fucking hope we don't meet again.
DC: We won't.
Posted by Jason at June 18, 2003 11:28 AM